Travel Humor

Incident #1. I travel a lot. TSA loves to see how my vertigo is doing. At least, I think that’s what they are doing, because they ask me to go through the body scanner about half the time I travel. I have seen more patterns when I travel during the day. When TSA is not busy, they send more people through the body scanners. But only the disabled people, not the abled people!

For a vestibularly challenged person, the body scanner is a challenge. For someone who is also deaf on the right side, it’s a double challenge. I can’t hear the TSA person when they tell me I’m done. I can’t always stand still, especially if it’s before my morning meds. So I’ve decided that TSA loves me, and wants to see how I’m doing. Because it can’t be that TSA thinks I’m a challenge to the airplane.

This past weekend, Daughter #1 and I were traveling together. I went through the body scanner to and from. She did not. So, TSA loves me. TSA does not love her. Too bad.

Incident #2. I also discovered another use for my cane that trip. I entered the elevator before Daughter #1 to go up to the ticketing floor at the airport. I turned around, and used the cane bottom to hit the elevator button, because I was too far away to use my finger. Another use for my cane! (Although that’s not nice of me, because the cane bottom is dirty.)

Incident #3. Mark was very funny on two occasions. Every so often, I am stubborn. Okay, more than every so often. Because we were away for a wedding, he wanted me to take a nap Saturday afternoon. By 4pm, I had not yet done so. I tried to ask him a question, and he turned away, and said, “I’m not talking to you until you take a nap.” I tried to say something else, and he said, again, “I’m not talking to you until you take a nap.” I asked, “Am I two years old?” He said, ” I’m not talking to you until you take a nap.”

I huffed, lay down, and was asleep in about 10 seconds for 90 minutes. He is a very smart man. I was able to stay awake for the entire party that evening and not fall over.

Incident #4. On Sunday morning, we were getting up, discussing who was going to use the bathroom when. We are both accustomed to traveling, and mostly without each other! He said, “You start walking, and I’ll quick get my water for the coffeemaker.” Well, that made me laugh so hard that I fell back on the bed and was unable to walk. He had plenty of time to start the coffee.

Traveling is not glamorous. It is difficult and a pain. I belong to the group of people who believe you need to look for the humor in travel because otherwise it is too much of a grind. I hope you agree.

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