I Have the Force

In the past four weeks, I have clogged a toilet, broken my car’s windshield washers, broken a mammogram machine, and broken the fancy goggles that the vestibular therapist in Canada uses to look at my nystagmus. And last week, my computer went into constant kernel panics. A lesser person might say I was jinxed.

I decided I have the destructive force. As in “Let the force be with you.”

I had to wait until Mark came home to unclog the toilet. My vertigo was no match for the force of the plunging required. I also needed Mark to look at and reseat the fuses under the hood of my car for the windshield wipers. I was just standing there for the mammogram machine. I was not giving it the evil eye. I was not sending it bad vibes. I don’t enjoy my mammograms, but I tolerate them. I had to wait until it was rebooted and then had to stand there again with the “don’t move, don’t breathe” business from the technician.

I thought the crowning glory was when the vestibular therapist wanted to see my nystagmus before I started the Brainport therapy, and couldn’t because her cables were not connecting. I’m a software person. I know a hardware problem when I see it. I told her what I could do (strip the ends and put a new connector on) and she looked at me as if I had three heads. I explained that I was a trained professional. But my therapist was even more of a trained professional. She put athletic tape on the end and made the connector fit! Athletic tape trumps duct tape—who knew?

But the real crowning glory was the constant kernel panics on my computer. My MacBookPro was less than two years old. It was getting kernel panics even when it was running disk utility, repairing the disk drive from a previous kernel panic. A new kernel panic during what was supposed to fix a kernel panic? I now have a kernel panic! I take both my kernel panics (the machine and me) to the Apple store and said, “What is going on?” The Genius said it was memory and would take a few days to fix. I said, “Ok.”

That was a Tuesday. I was going out of town on Friday, so I bought a new computer. I am now the happy owner of a MacBook Air, which is 2 pounds lighter than my previous computer. I love it! And, it’s a good thing I did buy a new computer, because the old computer did not have a memory problem. The Geniuses are still debugging the problem. I would be crazy by now, not just panic-ing. So, I would have bought a new computer, anyway. Because, really, who can be without a computer this long? Or, on her husband’s old slow computer this long? Not me.

Maybe the Force was all about me lightening my load. Ok, I get the point. I did. I can give up this Force now.

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