A few weeks ago, Mark coined the term, “excessively above average.” Since then, he’s used it for his progress on rehabbing his Achilles tendon post-surgery, my hyperbole, and other things, such as my book sales. We laugh every time we use the term.
This is the Satir Change Model. Once we’re in Chaos, our performance is unstable and not very predictable. I tend to have good days and bad days when I’m in chaos. I’m learning a new product to make a video for my upcoming book. All my attempts stink. However, they are less stinky now than they were before. I’m learning.
Once I get the Transforming Idea (I don’t think I have it yet), I’ll practice and become better at this video-making for book trailers. Then, I can apply that knowledge to the workshops I am planning for 2018.
When we learn, we cannot be excessively above average. I can’t even be average. (I suspect you can’t, either.) That’s because learning takes time. I learn some things fast and some things slowly. At university, I often learned from my final exams. That’s not the way to have an excessively above average GPA!
One of the reasons I like to learn so much and so often is that I enjoy the process of becoming “excessively above average.” I like the feeling of learning and mastering something new.
Not everyone likes that feeling. Sometimes, we don’t achieve mastery, no matter how long we try to learn. I find that frustrating. The real question is this: how do you feel when you don’t master something?
It’s taken me a while, but I think I’m finally okay with trying to learn, not achieving mastery, and learning to live with my level of competence. For example, I have not mastered the whole weight loss thing. I keep achieving small goals, have a long plateau, and then achieve a little more. At this rate, I might not die at my ideal weight. (That is supposed to be my wacko sense of humor!)
I am okay with this lack of mastery. At first, I thought it had I personally failed myself. Now, I realize I am not excessively above average when it comes to mastering weight loss. I might be average. I might be below average. Or, I might be excessively above average in not achieving my goal. That’s a transforming idea for you!
I do find it challenging to know when to be okay with a lack of mastery. When is it okay to give up? When should I continue to persevere? For me, those questions depend on the context of what I am learning.
Maybe the only real failure is not to try.
That is the question this week: When are you excessively above average?
- How About Yes, And … ?
- What Is Your Obligation?