Mark leaves the house before I do in the morning. That’s because my commute is downstairs, to my home office in the basement. He wakes up earlier, he works out earlier, he showers earlier, he eats breakfast earlier, he leaves earlier. And, he leaves his detritus—banana peels, cereal remains, fruit pits, whatever—in the disposal for me to run when I eat breakfast.
I’ve been wondering why he leaves this mess in the disposal for me. He does his dishes, so it’s not that he doesn’t clean up the kitchen. He does leave his napkin on the table, but I think that’s because he has Male Eye Disease, which means he does not see it. Male Eye Disease is not limited to men; I often have it. Those of us with Male Eye Disease do not see what is in front of our faces, often in the refrigerator. “Honey, where is the milk?” “In the door, where it always it is.” “Oh, so it is. Thank you.”
I suspect he leaves the mess in the disposal because one day, years ago, I was sleeping when he left the house, and he did not want the disposal to wake me up. So he did not run the disposal. He had a rule that he should not run the disposal. That rule is not so valuable anymore, except as a love offering.
I could be irritated by his mess, but I choose not to be. I reframe it as, “Mark loves me enough to want me to sleep even on the days I’m awake so that he doesn’t run the disposal.” Yes, that sounds a little funny. And, so am I! A little funny :-)
So, my love offering to you this morning is to see your spouse, significant other, friend, or colleague with potentially new eyes. Leave your Male Eye Disease back at home. How can you reframe something that might irritate you into something that might provide you a little laugh, or an inside hug, or, as in my case, a feeling of love? Consider it.
I’ll go run the disposal.
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